Immature and Reckless Relationships
God rewards faithfulness, not recklessness of the heart. It’s time for all “relationship games” to STOP. We must stop playing with people’s emotions and stop leading people on. We must either commit or quit it! Stop going out on dates for the heck of it, or stop entertaining “randoms” for the sake of fulfilling an insecurity. Stop texting and flirting, even entertaining people you have NO intentions of being with. It’s not fair for them or you. Your heart and emotions is not something to be played with and neither is anybody else’s. It’s time to be real.. real with ourselves and real with the people in our lives. If we’re not spiritually mature enough to handle a godly relationship and/or date with the spiritual purpose of “marriage,” then we must take some honest time to work on ourselves. Wanting attention is NOT a valid reason to have a relationship, go out on a date, or even to text or call someone to cake! We have to cut all these childish ways out. Nobody has time for wasted time, wasted emotions, heartbreaks, intentional spiritual mistakes, and never-ending headaches. A child of God realizes the importance of guarding ones heart and emotions. The bible says
“Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it comes the issues of life.” -Proverbs 4:23
Don’t even open the door for certain people you know are spiritually toxic to your life just for the sake of “having someone” or for the sake of “fulfilling a thirsty desire for attention.” Just because someone is nice-looking should not make you indulge in a relationship either. “Fine” and “pretty” is NOT a valid excuse! Be mature and wise about the decisions of your heart. Stop sharing your heart with “randoms” and start sharing your heart with the one who served as your ransom, “Jesus Christ.” Take some time to date Him, get to know Him.. He deserves your heart before any guy or girl. Jesus is where we should start. He’s the first relationship we should ever have. He sets the standard. Once you realize how amazing Jesus is, it will redirect your decision making when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s okay to enjoy your period of ” Singleness!” It’s not a crime! Some individuals act like having a “dry phone” is one of the scariest things! Lol FOR THE RECORD IT IS NOT! It’s ok not to have anybody blowing up your phone or a “boo thang” to text and call. That does NOT make you weird or unwanted, it makes you a single Christian who has chosen to focus on God. You will survive…it’s ok! Just chill, relax, enjoy you, and enjoy you & your private time with God! Trust me, it’s enough and more satisfying than any “caking buddy” can ever be. Chase after God and chase after His heart and eventually He will give you the desires of your heart. Simply trust God..
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” -Psalms 37:4
Unequally Yoked Relationships and Friendships
When we grow in our love and relationship with Christ it’s a matter of impossibility for our other relationships to not be affected. A true lover and follower of Christ Jesus can not be shut up about Christ! “It’s like a fire shut up in their bones.” (Jeremiah 20:9) A true believer desires to glorify Him and please Him. The gospel is their joy and their joy of Christ and love for the word cannot be hidden or ignored because it’s apart of them, it’s what makes them, it’s who they are! Everyday they live with an inexpressible joy of Christ (1 Peter 1:8). They can’t deny it for their life is now in Christ. So as Christians, true followers and believers of Christ.. how can we emotionally and or spiritually tie ourselves to someone who cannot share with us in our same love and joy for Christ? So many “Christians” date, emotionally tie themselves, or even marry someone who is not connected to Christ. If the person you’re dating and or married to can’t sit down and study God’s word with you, if they can’t pray for you or with you, if they are not spiritually connected and in tuned with God…ultimately what will that relationship profit you? We can’t say we love God and then go spiritually, emotionally, and even physically TIE ourselves to someone who doesn’t love God or truly know God for themselves. It’s so dangerous because we are playing Russian Roulette with our spiritual souls and hearts. If as a Christian you can date or tie yourself in a relationship with someone who is not connected to Christ, you must take some self inventory and ask yourself are you a true follower and believer of Christ? If you can spiritually indulge yourself in an “unequally yoked” relationship and/or friendship and it not bother your spirit…there’s something wrong.
Amos 2:2 says, How can two walk together unless they be agreed?
Light and darkness cannot dwell at the same time. If as a Christian we can DWELL and YOKE our self to someone not of Christ and it be no problem..then there must be no light in that relationship. I understand we all have fallen and made some mistakes at one point in time in our lives. So please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. There’s a difference if you made a mistake during a certain time in your life and you were spiritually weak and you participated in ungodly relationships and friendships. But to continually LIVE and/or PURSUE unequally yoked friendships and relationships is not of God. If your soul purpose is not to bring that person into the light, then it needs to stop there. We must be careful with all the relationships and friendships we invite in our lives.
Who we hang with, who we befriend, who we date and who we marry matters! They are the very people that have one of the heaviest influence of either helping us lose our soul or helping us save our soul. We must choose wisely…
Spiritually Toxic Relationships
One of the worst things we can do to ourselves is to emotionally tie ourselves to someone who is “spiritually toxic” to us. It’s impossible for us to take fire into our bosom without getting burned (Proverbs 6:27). We must not entertain or even welcome relationships that suck the spiritual life out of us. We have to stop rationalizing and start realizing, saving our soul is more important than pacifying our emotions and/or fitting in. Excuses like… “Well they’re not that bad, they’re cool people. Yes they like partying and getting drunk, but I know my limits when I’m with them.” Or statements like, “He’s a really nice guy, no he’s not a Christian, and no he doesn’t have a relationship with God, but he’s got everything else going for himself so it’s ok for me to date him.” Or thoughts like… “Man she’s so beautiful, sweet, successful, and ambitious.. the only thing is she’s not a true believer of God. It’s ok for me to get in a relationship with her because I can change her.” We have to stop rationalizing and accepting unspiritual relationships and friendships into our lives. We have to spiritually see things for what they are. The devil is so cunning! He’ll bring someone in our lives who is everything we ever wanted in a friend or relationship partner but exclude the most important thing… “the spiritual component.” She may be beautiful, he may be successful, and they may be cool people…but are they worth losing your soul over? You may be thinking, “Man Ashley, you’re being a bit extreme right now. Is it really that serious?” Yes it’s that serious! One phone call can turn into going out on a date, then consistently hanging out, then transforms into a full fledge relationship and or friendship. And before you know it..you’ve emotionally and/or physically tied yourself to someone who is “spiritual toxic.” The more you hang with them the more you give them the power to pull you further away from God. How can light and darkness be present at the same time? How can two walk together unless they be agreed?
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” -2 Cor 6:14
I’m NOT saying children of God can’t communicate or spend any time with unbelievers but the soul purpose should be to bring them into the light and to save their soul. It should NEVER be tainted with hidden motives or complicated emotional ties. Before we get romantically and emotionally involved with someone, salvation is the top priority! We have to be careful because if we’ve emotionally invested our self in someone, but we’re trying to teach them the truth and bring them into the light…we have to be sure that our reasons for doing this is fully pure to save their soul and not that we’re secretly hoping they do this so we can get in a relationship with them and/or marry them. Salvation is NEVER about that, it’s purely about God and saving that person’s soul.
So we must be very careful about the relationships we accept in our lives. RELATIONSHIPS HAVE POWER! They are powerful because they deal with they very thing that controls our whole being…which is our hearts! We need to guard our hearts with everything we have because it can be the very thing that helps us lose our soul or save our soul. Let’s strive to be wise in our relationships! Be encouraged!
Now that I’ve had a chance to read most of your blogs I’m still very overwhelmed. Everyday is a struggle because as a young Christian living in the world you feel as if you’re the only one sometimes. I myself have made the mistake of getting into relationships and trying to justify being with the person. However, it’s a very dangerous situation especially if you marry them. I always tell people that my definition of a soul mate is not the perfect person made for you, but the person that is more concerned about helping you get to Heaven. One who would never do anything to put your soul in jeopardy. I don’t mean to get in your business, but by chance do you attend a Church of Christ?
Yes sir I am a Christian and a menber of the church of christ 🙂
I figured you were. It was easy to tell by your knowledge and use of the scriptures. I’m glad and encouraged to be able to read material from a sister in Christ. 2 Timothy 2:15, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, and 2 Timothy 4:2 come to my mind when I read your blogs. I want to suggest an amazing book to you, if you’ve never read it. It’s called, “Muscle and a Shovel” written by Michael J. Shank. A story written by a Christian about his journey to obeying the gospel. A great read and I think you would really enjoy it. If you get a chance, check it out.