THE CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL SINS
This blog is long overdue…but honestly I wanted to take my time on it and truly allow the spirit of the Lord to help me write the words on this page. For those of you who it may be your first time reading one of my blogs, I want to encourage you, before you read this blog go and read my first couple of blogs entitled “Confessions of Christian Virgin.” Those blogs address the spiritual perspective on sexual sins and address ways to overcome them. This blog is a follow up to those previous blogs. Here I will address the consequences that come with sexual immorality and impurity. Before you read any further, I want to put this disclaimer. What I will write below is not intended to “judge you,” make you feel bad, insult you, or to magnify the mistakes you have made when it comes to sexual sins. I have made mistakes as well and struggle just like you. My hearts’ desire and intent is to encourage you with the spirit of love. I also want to help you become more aware of the spiritual consequences that can result from sexual sins. So many times Christians hammer the fact that sexual immorality is bad but never provide the reasons as to why it is bad. This is written with love but also written with absolute seriousness. Sexual sins are nothing to be played with because some of the consequences are life lasting. It’s one of the hardest sins to overcome and master but with the help of the Lord we can rise above them! As I write, my prayer is that my words may spiritually convict, comfort, and evoke change in your life when it comes to any sexual sins you may be dealing with. Be encouraged!
1 SPIRITUAL SEPARATION FROM GOD
This by far is one of the most devastating consequences of them all. Sexual sin and any sin for that matter separates us from God. There’s nothing more heartbreaking to God than sin. He hates it. As a result He cannot be touched by it. If we choose to indulge in sexual sins we are causing a spiritual wall of separation to be created between us and the Heavenly Father. I want you to re-read the statement I just wrote and truly allow those words to sink into your mind and pierce into the very depths of your heart. SIN SEPARATES US FROM GOD. That means the God of the universe, the Great I AM, the God who is all powerful and all present, the God who is full of comfort and love…will be separated from us if we sin and continue to indulge in a life of sexual immorality. There is nothing more saddening, heartbreaking, and devastating than to live a life spiritually separated from God and no longer in fellowship or communion with Him. If we don’t have God we will not make it through this life and without God we will be spiritually lost forever. What a tragedy it is not to have Him on our side. That’s why the pleasure of sexual sin is never worth the consequence of spiritually being separated from God. That means that momentary pleasure of fornicating with someone who is not your marital spouse, or the pleasure of watching pornography, or the momentary pleasure of oral sex or masturbation is NOT WORTH being spiritually separated from God. The enemy…Satan wants us to forget about this fact and only think about the pleasure of sexual sin and how good it makes us feel. But God wants us to be holy…in fact he commands us to be holy (1 Peter 1:15-16)! He wants us to continually walk in the spiritual light of His presence and seek to live a life that pleases Him. If we choose not to obey God we will lose His fellowship.
But please do not be dismayed! I know you’re probably thinking… “Man Ashley…I messed up. God doesn’t want me anymore.” That actually isn’t true! It’s the exact opposite! God wants your fellowship more than ever! He’s calling for you to come into the light of His presence. For every child of God the bible lets us know that if we confess our sins, repent before the Lord and continue to walk in the light…the blood of Jesus will cleanse us from ALL sin. (1 John 1:10-15) So I urge you and encourage you…confess and repent to the Lord. For those of you who are not children of God I encourage you…come to the Lord through obedience to the gospel, and full repentance and baptism for the remission of your sins (Acts 2:38). The blood of Jesus will cleanse you from your sins and then you will be a new creature in Christ! When we choose to live a spiritual life it is then that God helps us overcome the struggles of sexual sins. He’ll be there to give us the strength to rise above. I know it’s not easy but I want to encourage you to choose God over whatever sexual sin you’re dealing with. Momentary sexual pleasure is never worth not even a moment of spiritual separation from God.
“Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated between you and your God and your sins have hid his face from you that he will not hear.” –Isaiah 59:1-2
2 GUILT AND SHAME
The consequence of guilt and shame is one of those things that if not properly dealt with can haunt a person for their entire life. There are some people who are still walking around with shame and guilt from sexual sins they did 30 years ago! It’s one of those consequences that can really have a long lasting effect. You see the thing about sexual sins that the enemy doesn’t tell us is that during the moment, everything is great and wonderful but as soon as it’s over guilt starts to creep in. Eventually that guilt turns into heart wrenching and embarrassing shame. My friend, God never intended for us to live a life full of shame. That’s why He sent His son Jesus to carry our shame on the cross for us (1 Peter 2:24). However, Satan wants us to forget that fact. Not only that, but he wants us to continue to sin and carry life-long shame attached to every sin we commit.
God created every human being with a conscience. And when our consciences are saturated in the word of God, the Spirit of the Lord convicts us (Hebrews 10:22). When the spirit of the Lord convicts us… that is healthy conviction, also referred to as a godly sorrow. The bible lets us know that godly sorrow leads to repentance and that’s what God wants in every human being. He wants us to be convicted by our wrong toward Him and change to live a life for Him and His glory (2 Corinthians 7:10). However, Satan wants us to experience worldly sorrow. This sorrow doesn’t give birth to repentance; however it gives birth to gut-wrenching guilt and shame. This guilt can become so bad, so horrific, that it can remain present with someone their whole life if not properly dealt with. It can also cause someone to act out in even more sinful ways. It produces low self-esteem, feelings up hopelessness, and even thoughts or actions of suicide. Guilt and shame that is not brought to the cross of Christ can produce a cascade of emotions that will cause you to not love yourself or others like you should. Ultimately it can lead you to reject the powerful and amazing love that God has for you. That’s why it’s so imperative for us to confess our sins to God and bring that guilt and shame to the cross of Christ. For every faithful child of God we must remember that Christ died that we could be set free. He paid the price on Calvary. As a result every ounce of guilt and shame was nailed to the cross with Him. If we confess our sins to Him and lay our hearts before Him and continue to live righteously…WE WILL BE FORGIVEN! Satan wants us to forget about the power of the blood of Jesus. He only wants us to focus on the hurt, shame, and heartache we feel. That’s why it’s so important for us to think about the consequence of shame and guilt that sexual sins can produce. Every person you lay down to sleep with, every sensual pleasure you indulge in, and every wicked thing you allow your eyes to see will eventually breed the consequence of shame and guilt. NO sexual sin or any sin for that matter is ever worth that. I want to encourage you to choose righteousness over sexual sinfulness.
“God you know my sins and my guilt is not hidden from you.”-Psalm 69:5
3 UNWANTED PREGNANCY
When a man and woman who have not reached past the age of child bearing choose to have sex (protected or unprotected) with one another, there is ALWAYS a possibility that pregnancy can occur. ALWAYS. You may be thinking, “Well Ashley that’s not 100% true. What if they use a condom or the woman is on hormonal birth control, or has an IUD, or any other form of birth control..? She can’t get pregnant.” WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. Sex was created by God not man. Sex was not only created for recreation but also for procreation, that’s why in the very beginning God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28) . No matter how intelligent men may think they are, a man made form of birth control cannot compete with a God created establishment. So every time a man and woman choose to have sex with one another there is ALWAYS a possibility pregnancy can occur. That’s why God created the beautiful covenant of marriage. So if pregnancy were to happen, a child would grow up with parents who are in the beautiful covenant of marriage and who could raise and provide for them. In today’s society people act so surprised or even get upset when they are sexually active with someone who is not their spouse and they get pregnant. With sex comes responsibility and with pregnancy comes responsibility as well. Pregnancy should not be something people fear, something people are afraid of, or something people are ashamed of. Birthing a child is a beautiful blessing from God that was intended to be experienced within a two parent household. However, when sex is used outside of its intended purpose that’s when the consequences of sexual sin arises. That’s when guilt, shame, and fear may set in. Getting pregnant out of wedlock is not something that should be celebrated, praised, or promoted.
Don’t get me wrong, we shouldn’t shun or treat individuals wrong who may have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, however we need not promote and celebrate the sin of sex outside of marriage. Sex before marriage can breed unwanted pregnancy and this consequence if not properly dealt with can lead to a continued cascade of sins like abortion, or broken families or homes, a child growing up without a healthy sense of love, or with no father figure, or with no mother figure. All these consequences have the potential to arise just from two individuals unwillingness to obey the word of God and abstain from sex outside of marriage. We must remember that the consequences of our sexual sins not only affect us but have the potential to affect the people closest to us and our loved ones around us. If you have made the mistake of having sex outside of marriage and even getting pregnant out of wedlock I want you to know that God’s love and forgiveness is still available to you if you are willing to be obedient to the word of God. Even through our mistakes God’s love and guidance is still available to us if we are willing to repent. If you did have sex out of marriage or if you do have a child out of wedlock, know that God can give you the strength to press forward and continue to overcome. My encouragement to you is to continue to abstain from temptation and bring your heart into the subjection of Christ.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” –Hebrews 13:4
4 SEXUAL ADDICTIONS
Now this consequence just like all the others is a very serious one. I truly want you to hear my heart as I type these words but I want you to also hear the seriousness behind my voice. Sexual sins have the power to breed sexual addictions. And sexual addictions don’t just stop at the single individuals but also have the ability to flow over into marriages. I want you to re-read my last sentence and really allow that to sink in. If sexual sins aren’t properly dealt with they have the ability to produce sexual addictions. Did you know there are thousands of people who have serious sex addictions? They crave sex and as a result go around sleeping with numerous individuals on a day to day basis. Did you know there are thousands of individuals single and married who are addicted to pornography, masturbation, oral sex, or a plethora of other sexual sins? Sexual addiction is a very serious consequence of sexual sin and it has the ability and power to ruin lives, families, and happiness. This is why indulging in a life of sexual sin is so dangerous because if we allow our flesh to have a taste of something we will naturally want more and more. Sexual addictions are so dangerous because they not only put someone’s soul at stake but they also have the potential to break relationships, marriages, and families. Sexual addictions serve as a barrier to developing true intimacy within a relationship; they can bread sins of deceit, secrecy, guilt, shame, and lack of trust. Every sexual experience someone indulges in today has the potential to affect them down the line. We must not give the devil an inch because he will take us a mile.
Every sexual addiction starts off small, but then continues to give birth to more and more sexual sin and before you know it; it has a full place in your everyday life. It’s as if you can’t go a day without thinking about it, indulging in it, or pursuing it. That’s how sneaky and deceiving the devil is. He baits us with just a little bit but then continually keeps us hooked (1 Peter 5:1-8). We must constantly remember that the Lord is against sexual sin and any sin for that matter. He wants us to live holy and pure lives before Him. We must not make excuses and we must not seek to feed our fleshy desires. Even single individuals must be careful not to make excuses for sexual sins. For example saying things like, “It’s okay for me to watch pornography, masturbate or have oral sex while I’m single because once I’m married I will stop.” That is one of biggest lies from the devil. You see the habits we develop in our single state are some of the same habits that will carry over to our married state if not properly dealt with. Addictions will affect relationships…whether it’s friendships, family relationships or marriages. That is why we must stop playing games and realize that our souls are nothing to be played with. Again like I have said before, there is still hope. Please do not be dismayed! As long as you are still alive, God’s forgiveness and love calls out to you. You just have to be willing to submit to Him in obedience. With Christ sexual addictions can be overcome but please don’t think it’s just a “single-day” process. It takes time and the strength of the Lord to overcome. So I want to encourage you, flee from sexual sin and sexual addiction. Run to the cross of Christ and submit yourself and your heart to His will. And whether you’re single or married I want to encourage you to seek to live in a state of self-control and purity before the Lord. With Christ you will win and you will overcome.
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God.”-1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
5 EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL PROBLEMS WITHIN YOUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE
We will reap what we sow. A consequence that many individuals don’t always think about when it comes to sexual sin, is the consequence of emotional and sexual problems within one’s future relationship and marriage. Just like with anything, the actions we perform today will have an effect on our futures (Galatians 6:7). The habits and sins we develop today will carry over to our futures if not properly dealt with. We must not be deceived into thinking that our sexual experiences and encounters today will have null effect on our future. We our souls and spirits so every action, everything we indulge in, everything we do…pierces into the depths of our being. If we sow goodness and godliness we will reap the harvest of those seeds but if we sow sinfulness and evilness we will reap the harvest of those seeds. Throughout society I have heard sayings like, “It’s okay to sleep with as many people as you want. You need to experience sex so you know what you like verses what you don’t like.” Or “If you don’t have sex now how will you know what to do when you get married?” Or “I can have sex with no emotion. Sex is sex. It’s no big deal.” These are some of the biggest lies ever told from the enemy! Please my friend, do not be deceived. Please know that sex…is far more than just sex and any sexual encounter is so much more than JUST a sexual encounter or experience. Like I said before, God is the creator of sex. Therefore sex is not only tied into our physical being but also tied into our emotional and spiritual being. Sexual experiences are not something that can just be automatically erased from the human mind. And sexual experiences are not something that can automatically be desensitized from our senses. For example, if we explore and indulge in different types of foods… we exercise our taste buds and as a result our palate is exposed to a plethora of flavors and tastes. Just the same goes for us sexually. If we choose to indulge in sexual experiences with individuals who are not our spouse, we expose our bodies and minds to an array of different sexual experiences that will have an effect on us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. As a result, a sexual appetite is developed for those things we have exposed ourselves to. Every sexual experience you have with someone today has the potential to be carried over in your future marriage. For example, say there’s a guy who has slept with numerous girls in his single lifetime and he’s ready to settle down and get married. He marries the girl of his dreams only to find out he’s constantly comparing his sex life to the sexual experiences he’s had with other ladies in his past. As a result he’s sexually frustrated because his wife is unable to please him in ways that his old girlfriends were able to. Then he starts to find himself thinking about old sexual experiences with other women while having sex with his wife. This is just one of the many examples of the consequence that sexual sin can birth.
Sex before marriage can also develop a sense of false security and love within a relationship; it can be a barrier between two individuals developing true intimacy and depth within a relationship because it just becomes physical. It can create feelings of distrust, insecurity, promiscuity, and feelings of bitterness and resentment if the relationship ends badly. You see…all these consequences arise from sexual sins. God wants us to develop healthy and spiritual relationships and marriages. He doesn’t want us to have to suffer from the consequences of sexual sin but He wants us to share in the joys of living a righteous life for Him. So I encourage you my friend, don’t be blinded by the pleasure of sexual sin that you can’t see the consequence that sexual sin may bring. Sinning against God and sinning against your body is never worth it. Remember we may choose the sin, but God chooses the consequence. Be encouraged…
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” -1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”–Galatians 5:16-21
TO BE CONTINUED…
One of the most healing things for me was 2: Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old
things have passed away.
This was very helpful for me and I never would have moved
forward in the relationship with my wife had God not provided
healing. I was either to see Sandy (not her real name) as a
new creature completely different than what she was or I
could not have married her. Yes there was still pain. You speak
of consequences yes there are scars. But the will of God was in
our union and she was no longer that woman and even the men
who I despised I had to recognize that it was Satan who created
this mess. Sandy had come to genuine repentance and God’s
Grace was plentiful. I was no better than her. All have sinned and
come short of the glory of God so in forgiveness and humbly
we moved forward married and had 3 children.
Amen! You are so right. God’s grace and forgiveness is amazing!:) Thank you so much for your transparency!