Life is not about Being Single or Married



Life is not about being single or married. Life is about God. Do I believe that God has the power to bring a wonderful man of God into my life to be my husband? Definitely. Do I believe that I can live a fulfilled and joyous life while unmarried? Definitely. How can I write this with such conviction? Because I am growing to understand that either route I take is a win, win situation. Why? Because in both of those paths I STILL have God. He’s the key ingredient. My life will be a beautiful journey, not if I stay single or if I get married, but if I stay with the Lord. As long as I have Him, I’m going to be alright.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” -Philippians 4:12-13

By the world’s standards, I should probably be married by now and have 1.5 kids. God has allowed me to have degrees, a career, a car, and a salary, which I am very grateful to Him for. However, now that I have all of these things, the world tells me all I need now is the husband, the house, and the kids. But what does God say?

When I used to try and live my life by the standards of the world. It was absolutely EXHAUSTING trying to keep up! I was always a step behind. I was never good enough. I always had to do more to reach what the world said I was supposed to be. I became tired of trying to keep up. The more I tried, the more frustrated, sad, and anxious I became. So, when I wore myself out by running after the world, I finally decided to give God’s way a try.

I pursued God.

I pursued His will over my own will.

I sought for my contentment in Him and NOT in my relationship status.

I admit there were days that were EXTREMELY HARD. Many days I cried. Many nights I was ready to throw in the towel. Some days I was angry at God. “God have you forgotten about me? Don’t I deserve happiness!? Don’t I deserve a husband and kids like everyone else!? Don’t you care that I’m hurting? Why can’t I have a beautiful story like everybody else? It seems like I keep failing!” But even in my selfish moments of frustration, God was so patient with me and is STILL so patient with me. Every day He keeps on loving me and reminding me that what I am really in search of and wanting is Him.

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me.” -Psalm 139:17-18

You see, the world tries to tell us that if we just have

this person

this thing,

and this amount of money

our lives will be grand and wonderful!


The world has tried to eclipse our need for God. When in fact the more the world tries to push us away from God, the more our hearts yearn with such an emptiness that craves for His filling. Life is not in a particular relationship status. Life is not even in the power of a woman’s womb. Life is not in things nor in people. True life is always and will always be in God.

Who is the world to tell us how our lives should be? The world didn’t make us, God did! The world tells us we are supposed to have our life planned out. “By this age I’ll have this. My husband will be exactly like this. I will have 3 children 2 girls and 1 boy.” How foolish do we look? Do we really think we have the power to plan our lives? NO! What room do we leave for God? For faith? For dependency on Him? When we think we have everything figured out, it gives us a false sense of security.

Life has taught me that the only thing I have control over is whether I will obey God or the Devil. That’s it. Everything else is out of my control. Life is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, mountains and valleys. It’s an unpredictable life filled only with a dependable God. So I can put my mind to rest trying to figure everything out.

I don’t have to figure it all out.

I simply just have to trust God.

So nowadays when people ask me, Ashley where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? My response is, “In the will of God.” You see my life will never be defined by my relationship status. My life will only be defined by the God that created me.

Going into my 25th year of life, I am learning to embrace the beauty of the dark chaos of life. When we confidently walk into the unknowns of life, the unpredictable moments, the trying circumstances, and the painful trials, it is in the dark chaos of life that the beauty of God’s light is truly shown. So many times we want to run to the comfortable aspects of life, or get angry with God when we are thrown into an uncomfortable place. All the while God is saying, “My child, have no fear, I am with you. Trust me in the process. Trust me during the wait. Trust me even in the midst of the pain. Trust me even when you don’t understand. Trust me even when you can’t trace my plan.” What I refuse to do is to allow desperation and discontentment lead me to get married, or fear and past pain keep me single. I’m seeking my best everyday to trust God in every moment of my life.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”-Proverbs 3:5-6

I trust that He knows best. I trust that He knows the life that I, Ashley Moneet, need to live in order to get to glory.

If that life is a single life, Lord let it be.

If that life is a married life, Lord let it be.

Either way, just let your will in my life be carried out and your presence in my life forever remain. I trust that He will lead me in the path that He has for me. My prayer for you, my friend, as you read these words is that you too trust Him. It doesn’t matter where you are in life right now, God still has the power to lead you into His will if you’re willing to let go of the reigns and trust Him. Trust God, not the world and not yourself. Don’t measure yourself by your relationship status. Measure yourself by a child of the King that’s choosing to trust God no matter the state you’re in. Remember, life is not in being single or in being married. True life is in God.

In love,
Ashley Moneet
*Memory Verses: Philippians 4:12-13, Psalm 139:17-18
*Character Study/Book Study: This week I want you to focus on the book of Philippians. Study and learn from the life of Paul, and use his example as well as the words he wrote to the church in Philippi to encourage you. Seek to grow in your contentment towards God, no matter what state you are in. 

***If you have anything you would like to share, whether it be a testimony, a question, or you want to express how you feel about this blog, please comment below. I would love to hear from you!


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13 Responses

    1. You are most welcome Allanah! So glad God was able to use me to encourage you. May you stay encouraged and continue the good fight of faith!

      Love, Ashley

  1. Dear Sister Ashley what an awesome and powerful message! Its all about trusting and believing God!! Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!

  2. Very encouraging dissertation Ashley, for if I measure myself by the Word of God, I will ony seek to grow higher in Him! Thank you

  3. Lovely powerful words Ashley. That is exactly the direction that works so well in our relationship with God. Trusting and believing in Him and showing our love by striving to please Him in all we do and say.

    The rest follows. Joseph is a great example of that attitude. He was God driven from the dungeon and abandonment to second in command of a great earthly kingdom. He never took his eyes off his relationship with God. He refused pride and walked with humility. God did the rest.

    Thank you for these thoughts. Looking forward to more.

    David Johnson

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